Friday, July 17, 2009

Of Mice and My Man

My tender heart has caused some problems in our marriage. One Fall, in a small town in Minnesota where we called home, we were visited by some friends. These were really quiet house guests, didn't ask for anything, and seemed to respect our privacy. In fact, they were so shy that we didn't even know they were there. That is, until one night.





As we were sitting in the living room one evening watching the news, out of the corner of my eye I saw him (or her) scurry down the hall and into the kitchen. Eeeeeeeeek! You guessed it, a little mouse. After searching every inch of the kitchen, we never saw where this little guy went. The busyness of the next day lent itself to forgetfulness. But, like clockwork, at the exact same time during the nightly news, our little house guest emerged and followed the same path into the kitchen.




Hence, the beginning of our marriage problems.





After a rather emotional conversation, Barry was off to Wal-mart for a live trap. If you haven't ever heard of such a thing, yes, they do exist. It is a little plastic box that traps the mouse in while preserving its life - no poisons, glue or violent snaps. Then you can kindly take the mouse and transplant it away from your house. Plan in motion.





We placed the trap in the path that we had witnessed this little guy taking, and voila! The first night out, he was trapped. Cute little guy. (My dearest friend is squirming right now if she is reading this - mouse lover she is not!). Anyway, hubby takes the trap and walks across the street to an open field and lets the mouse out. Ah, I can rest peacefully knowing that we didn't harm the little guy and most importantly that he was out of our house! However, the very next night (you guessed it, during the evening news), behold.....the mouse was back. Or, much to my disgust, a cousin perhaps of the one we just freed. So, trap in place, we caught him yet that very night. This time, hubby decided to walk a bit farther away, in case it was the first one that had returned. Freedom unfurled again.



Can you believe that this happened again a couple days later? We were completely dumbfounded and disgusted. Press repeat on all of it (ALL of it), except this time my dear husband was RESOLVED to get this mouse FAR away from our house. It literally was 1:00 a.m. when we heard the rattling inside that little plastic trap. "Barry, we got him. Can you please go let it go?" Much to his displeasure, he climbed out of the warm bed to head out into the brisk Fall night and release this mouse. This nemesis that had come into our lives and refused to leave. You see, we really didn't want to believe that we had three mice in our house. Much easier on the psyche to think that this mouse loved being a house guest, that it found its way back each time. That faulty assumption is what led to the next series of events.





Armed with the trap, van keys, and determination, my Beloved sets off to teach this mouse a lesson. Being the wee hours of the morning, the options were endless. Not a soul in site. He drives for awhile and finds the perfect spot. A grassy field just outside of town! Alas! Surely this mouse will not come back from here! Grabbing the trap and using only the light of the moon and a distant street lamp, release and freedom for the mouse is moments away. The mouse, seemingly very attached to our family and clinging to entrapment, does not come out easily. A quick jiggle of the trap and finally he is released. Whew! Hubby thinks little of the gentle thump he felt on his leg after releasing the house guest and climbs back in the van to head home to his warm bed and sweet dreams. All the while grumbling under his breath about how annoying his wife's tender heart can be at times.





"What was that?", he thinks, as panic starts to rise. "What is that tickle on the back of my leg?" His heart starts to race as he remembers the thump. "Hmmmm......could it be?" "Nah"......he keeps driving. "There it is again! OH NO!" Without a second thought, he has swerved the van to a stop on the side of the road (now in town and under full street lamps), whipped off his sweat pants and stands shaking his pants violently, adorned in skivvies, socks and shoes. Realizing his vulnerable predicament, gives the pants one more shake, tosses them in the back of the van (of course NOT willing to put them on again) and heads home. Anger and disgust filling his thoughts and blazing out of his eyes, I see him trudge up the sidewalk of our home, still adorned without pants, empty trap in hand.......

......lucky for ALL of us (mouse included), this was end of our house guest problems. Prudent for our marriage that I abdicated mouse disposal techniques to his discretion.

1 comment:

  1. HA! That is the funniest thing I have ever read! LOL ...well and it made my tummy turn...yipes..I am pretty much anti mouse for sure! I remember a similar event as a child when my dad ran around the house in only his underwear, winterhat and boots trying to catch a lil bugger! Will never forget that day!

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