Saturday, July 3, 2010

Wow - I am not sure where time has gone. The last several months have been filled with lots of things. Sadness and loss, joy and accomplishment, and celebrations of new beginnings. I have missed writing!

March was a sad month. We said goodbye to a family member who has always been a part of my life. My brother-in-law Jerome left us quite suddenly and much to all of our dismay. He was such a gentle, quiet, good-humored man. We are all missing him very much - I can't imagine the emptiness it has left for his wife, my sister Jeanette. My heart aches for his children, Jessica and Josh and for his grandchild, Josie as I know the pain of unfulfilled expectations of time spent together. We wish you were still with us, Jerome!

It was also sad because we moved our dear friends further away then I imagined. The move marked an end to a time that was filled with wonderful togetherness, gratitude and joy. Our spontaneous get-togethers and spur of the moment "movie nights" were now replaced with thought-out plans and intentional gatherings. Still sprinkled with gratitude but marked with the sense that life would not ever be the same. A few months later we moved these dear friends again, now to a permenant situation, now to the reality that life truly has changed. The sting of events past somehow softened by the hope of the future, we celebrate new beginnings together. The joy of friendships that transcend time and events can not be explained. We have laughed, cried, felt frightened, experienced excitment, felt angry -together - And all has only bound these friendships tighter together. So, on to new times our dear old friends!

These days of late have left me with a haunting sense that life is not what we imagine it will be, not always. It has twists and turns that surprise, delight, and even devastate at times. It has shown me that pain teaches our hearts to experience joy with abandon, if we allow it. It has also shown me that while we have such little control over the ebb and flow of life, we can trust God. He has complete control. He is good. Regardless of circumstances, His love never changes toward us. We may feel confused about the "why's" and "how's", but when we understand that His will is NEVER evil, we can let go of it. We can lay our broken and bruised hearts at His feet and He tenderly binds them up in His time. One of my favorite songs right now, by David Crowder says it so beautifully. Click here to listen to it.

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