It Is Finished

"It is finished". Ah, those words can bring relief. I think of many situations in which "it is finished" marks an end to something long, laborious or difficult. In most recent history, we have said "it is finished" to 2009. This completion was celebrated by most with an exuberant countdown marked with a renewed sense of anticipation and excitement for something good to come. We usually approach the end of a year with a time of reflecting on our successes and failures and hopes and dreams for what the next year may hold.

Graduation is another moment in time when the completion of something lends itself to the anticipation of something good. The labor of education is over, complete, finished. Walking across the platform with right hand extended to receive that piece of paper that proclaims "it is finished" creates an upsurge of joy that can fill your heart. Suddenly all of the work that went into that diploma is replaced with a sense of accomplishment and promise of something great to come.

Likewise, I can remember after the very long and difficult birth of my son, repeating the words, "it's done, it's finished" over and over again. It was in that moment that the completion of nearly 10 months of pregnancy had culminated to this incredible pinnacle of time that held both great relief and great anticipation. Yes, it was finished....and yet it had just begun.

While all of these things can have great significance in our lives, there is nothing that compares to the moment in time when Christ uttered the very words "it is finished" from the cross. In that exact moment in time, Christ took all of history, all of the very present, and all of the future and completed the transaction needed to save the world from sin, once and for all. I have heard some say that they feel as though they are heaping more sin on Christ's head when they sin. To this I most heartily disagree. While I believe it grieves the Lord when we sin, I also believe that when He said, "it is finished", there was nothing more that needed to be done. He did not say "it is finished for now", or "it is finished for awhile". The task of taking my sin (all of my sin), your sin (all of it) and the sin of the world (all of it) was complete.

And not unlike the previous examples, I can't help but imagine the great sense of anticipation and promise that came with those very words. In that moment when the veil was torn and the ground heaved in a violent sigh of relief, creation knew that the finishing work of salvation was complete. And, because of this, I now have a choice.

Because He said, "it is finished", I can now say, "I have begun".

Holiday Frenzy

My heart goes out to many who find that the holidays bring to the heart sadness, loneliness, disappointments......anything other then the expected feelings of joy and good cheer. I love Christmas but have found that the stress of buying the perfect gifts on a shoestring budget, making sure that I have forgotten no one, and making plans to visit family and friends tends to leave me feeling overwhelmed instead of cheerful. The past couple of days, I have noticed my anxiety levels rise as I am trying to coordinate the calendar - my biggest source of holiday malaise. I am a people person - nothing gives me more joy then spending time with those that I love. What to do when there just isn't enough time in a day or in a "vacation" to see and do all that my heart longs to???

The biggest thing I do not want to do in the midst of all of the extras we have attached to Christmas is forget why it is that we celebrate. I celebrate Christmas because it the recognition of the birth of my Savior, Jesus Christ. He came in the simplest of ways - born in a stable - resting in an animal feeding trough - wrapped in loose cloths. Yes, He was celebrated in the heavenly realms as the angels sang for joy over the quiet sheep-lined hills. It is a joyful time! I must recapture that joy and eliminate expectations that rob that joy! GOOD NEWS OF GREAT JOY - A SAVIOR HAS BEEN BORN! AMEN! Ahhh, the peace is stored to my anxious heart!

Missing Mom

Tonight I am missing my Mom.

She has been gone 10 1/2 years. In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago that she left this place and other times, just yesterday. I miss her laugh....it was a laugh that came from the depth of her being. I miss hearing her say my name. She had a way of saying it that always made me feel like I was her favorite person in the world. I miss hearing her tell me about a book she was reading. She was an avid reader and could easily read 2 or 3 books in a week. I miss seeing the delight in her eyes as she would tell me about something funny she read or heard. I miss smelling the aromas of her cooking - especially during the holidays. I remember waking to the smells of celery and onion on Thanksgiving morning as she was busy stuffing the turkey. She was a splendid cook, and we all relished enjoying the bounty of her hands on holidays. I miss what could have been. I miss that she has never laid eyes on my daughters. I know that she would delight in Emily's tender spirit and in Olivia's spunky "girly" spirit. I know she would laugh at Chad's jokes and be amazed at how grown up he is becoming. I miss hearing her words of wisdom as she always knew the right thing to tell me when I was anxious or upset about something. I miss having a mother. I miss talking about her in the present. I miss her physical presence in my life. I miss you Mom!

Hope-Bearers

My eyes have been opened. No longer do I live in a community and NOT see the vast needs that exist right inside our own borders. Right under our noses. Before my opportunity to step inside the world of the hurting, hungry, destitute, I lived ignorantly. It changes you to witness the hunger (physical and spiritual) and destitution. I can no longer drive the streets of this community admiring the well-manicured lawns and not think about the depth of needs that exist.

While I am saddened by this awareness for many reasons, I am compelled to speak out, to act upon those feelings. I realize that my own needs seem to diminish in intensity in my awareness that some are wondering where they will rest their heads tonight or what they will find to fill their baby's tummy. It is easy for us to make assumptions as to what caused the predicament. Is it laziness, wastefulness, undisciplined selves? Understanding the "whys" are important. Don't get me wrong. To meet needs without rooting out the cause only enables neediness. But, have we grown accustomed to assuming and excusing our lack of compassion? What if we assumed something different? What if we assumed that with some compassion, with some of our lives poured out into theirs, a change can happen?

I am called, as a Christian, to be a hope-bearer. Not an assumption maker. I must be willing to share my hope in order that someone else may find theirs. We have bought into the notion that individual is best. That handling things on our own is the brave thing to do. And, sadly to some, that we are entitled to better. None of these are true. We were created with a need for community. We were created for connection with others. And, none of us is entitled to anything but what God has willed in our lives. The sense of entitlement, from what I have witnessed, is a great source of heartache amongst many of the needy. Yes, there is a huge chasm in our world that exists between the poor and the wealthy. What gets us into trouble is when we think to ourselves, "they owe me", "they have to give me what I am lacking". In a sense it is a reaching and grabbing motion with the hands instead of a position of palms up, waiting to receive.

The fact of the matter is that there will always be poverty. There will always be those who have much and those who do not and varying degrees inbetween. Does that abdicate our responsibility to have compassion? Or to step up and offer what we can of ourselves to give someone else hope? Absolutely not! For those of us who know from where our hope comes from, we need to share! It isn't something we are supposed to keep for ourselves. For hope grows when we share it. As we are reaching out to feed the hungry and clothe the poor, I need to remember this.....to take opportunity to feed the souls too. At the core of every human being is a place that is empty without God. A place designed and created for God alone. If I, who knows this to be true and has experienced the life-giving presence of God in my life, am not willing to tell someone this, then I am not a hope-bearer. I will have failed my responsibility, failed my destiny.

Catchin' Up

Well, summer has passed us by, and life has moved from a moderate pace to crazy. I have a first grader, third grader, and sixth grader this year. Wow! I feel old. Chad has been very busy with football and acclimating to Middle School. Quite nicely, I gratefully admit.

Where does time go? Really! I was having a discussion about time with a friend last week. She said something that made so much sense. When we are young, say single digit age, time seemed to pass by so slowly. And, as we all have felt, the older we get, the faster time seems to travel.
She once heard someone say that when someone is four, a year is a quarter of his or her life. When someone is 40, a year is 1/40 of his or her life. Wow - the simplicity of that statement.

Needless-to-say, I have been contemplating time. Chad and I were conversing today about Heaven. He is worried that he will be bored in Heaven because of the fact that it is forever. Don't you just love the innocence of childhood? I sure do! I remember thinking the same thing. Perhaps never speaking it out loud, but the thought crossed my mind. I remember a choir director of mine saying that we would be singing all the time in Heaven and thinking, UGH! I like to sing, but not all of the time. Anyway, my response to my son went something like this.

Imagine a place where there is nothing bad. Nothing. No ill feelings at all. Nothing to make us feel lacking or wanting or pain. Think of a time that was so fun that you wished it would never end. Capture that fleeting moment and imagine that feeling for eternity. See, we can hardly grasp such a possibility, but it will be. Heaven is completely void of anything bad. Our connection with our Creator completely restored. Pure joy. I reassured him that it isn't anything to dread or worry about, and I reassured him that his feelings are normal.

God is so good and we can't fathom that. Yes, we try to wrap our temporal brains around Him, but we can't. We project our own disappointments, failures, inadequacies on God by blaming Him when life doesn't go our own way. But, our projections do not change Him, not even one iota. I am so grateful for that. I am so grateful to know that in the midst of uncertainty, sadness, and disappointment in life, I have a deep resonating hope. He is who He says He is, and He does what He says He will do. And He is creating a place for me in My Father's house where I will one day fellowship with My Creator and My Savior. Hallelujah! AMEN!

Kid Funnies

Here are some kid funnies!

Olivia:
(age 4) - apparently Olivia had heard things on the news that she didn't quite understand about the weather. #1: Tornadoes were heard as Tomatoes #2: "Tomatoes" had "eyes" (weatherman must have said, "eye of the tornado") #3: stay clear of the windows

Now, fast forward to the tornado (tomato?) siren sounding. This is my sweet terrified 4-year old: "Mommy, quick, the tomato is coming! And hurry, move away from the window, it is going to see us and come and get us". (How sad is that!!!)

(age 5)- One day my friend was playing the game "Farkle" on Facebook. Olivia responds: "Farkle....that sounds like a bad word....in MY head."

Emily:
(age 2)- One morning, while laying in her crib, says to me as I am getting her up, "Mama, do you have a little bit of chocolate?" (I am not kidding, she said it word for word)

(age 3)- "Mommy, I am going to marry my blankie when I grow up"

(age 4)- "When I grow up, I am going to live right next to grandma and grandpa. You can come visit me there if you want."


Chad:
(age 2)- Out in the flower garden one day, Chad was digging with his little plastic shovel. As it begins to sprinkle, he crinkles his nose, looks up at the sky and asks, "hey God, you do that?"

(age 3)- When asked where his daddy works, he responds: "my daddy works at church. My mommy is the cooker and babysitter".

(age 4)- In the drive-thru line at McDonalds, Daddy was getting frustrated. Chad, from the back seat responds: "Daddy, just take a few deep 'breath-ez', that always helps me."

Difficult Days

It has been a long time since I have posted anything. There has been much going on that has left me feeling at a loss for words. The fragility of life is before me right now. I have been following a little girl on CaringBridge who was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor - a very aggressive one and one that is located in such a way that they could not fully remove it with surgery. She is a trooper and at the same age as my Olivia. Makes me feel so sad for this family. Most recently, my dearest friends in the world are going through a deeply painful experience. It is a dark time for them, and as friends, for us as well.

I have been contemplating this over the past days and considering what it means to walk alongside someone who is hurting. There are moments as you shoulder hard times with someone that you feel so completely helpless. In my helplessness, I want to run. I somehow want that helplessness to travel with me to be left far from the situation. For me then to return with a solution. But, I have come to accept that simply being present has a component of comfort that cannot be adequately expressed. To you my precious friends, I tell you that I am present. That I am available to support and comfort in any way that I can. And, that I will indeed not run but remain, prayerfully awaiting God's plans to unfold before us, and anticipating the jubilant dance that follows good news! I love you all!